Thread:Dioga beta/@comment-28063203-20170419025430/@comment-5543071-20170419040255

First off, very nice. I enjoyed that you obviously based it off the beginning of my series, but had it be nothing like my pilot episode. As soon as Kyle threw up over the edge, I knew it was going to be your own story.

I enjoyed the development throughout the episode, with chasing Pikachu guiding the whole episode. I thought Stephanie had very real reactions to a rodent Pokémon suddenly appearing in her house. From that encounter, I'm not sure if she doesn't know about some Pokémon or if she's scared of them, though you could easily identify that later on.

The story kept moving, and the text wasn't too condensed in any one spot. It was easy to read through despite being a decent length. And that was totally an appropriate end to the Team Rocket encounter, and a pretty decent response to Lt. Surge giving Kyle Pikachu.

Few edits, though it is mostly errors instead of story. When Kyle talks to the kid for the first time, he asks "Have you seen a Nidorino?" instead of a Pikachu. I may suggest giving the kid a name. You don't have to, but it makes him more relatable and opens up possibilities later if you decide to bring him back.

I think there should be an emotion cue for when Stephanie joins Kyle. Either for being eager to travel or break her mom's rules or reluctance or however she's feeling. It feels way too easy for her to join, but I think that on a lot of the Pokémon stories I've seen.

This last thing is sorta objective and your choice on style. With the Pokémon attacks, they are technically all capitalized. I think they are all proper names, which is why that is I guess. You don't have to capitalize the moves, but I recommend it. Do what you want on that.

Overall, nice job. I can't wait to see more of the series and the storyline!